How
can psychotherapy help me?
How
can I decide whether I need psychotherapy or not?
What can I expect from
psychotherapy?
What can I get out of a
successful therapy?
What are the the 12 signs of depression?
How can I tell if I have low
self esteem?
How can I deal effectively with
feelings of anger?
What are the goals of
constructive anger?
What are some examples of destructive
anger?
What is assertive anger?
How can I tell if I'm co-dependent?
How
can psychotherapy help me?
Seeing
a psychotherapist does not mean that you are crazy
or that something is wrong with you or that you can't
handle your problems. In fact, seeking counseling
can be a wise and courageous way of handling problems.
Our culture gives independence such a high rating
that we forget that using help appropriately is a
sign of strength, not weakness. Although feeling good
about yourself may be, for the most part, a do-it-yourself
job, that still does not rule out getting professional
help when you feel emotionally stuck.
How
can I decide whether I need psychotherapy or not?
If
you are experiencing any of the following feelings
to excess it would be wise to discuss it with a therapist:
lonely and estranged, in crisis, confused about how
you feel, over-stressed, suffering a tragedy, unable
to cope with daily problems, very anxious, depressed
for more than a few days, lacking control over eating
or drinking behaviors, uncontrollably angry, guilty,
in physical pain that you suspect has psychological
roots. These symptoms are signs that you have some
unmet needs. They are clues that you need to examine
your life and if it is not measuring up to what you
want for yourself, you need to take responsibility
for making changes. Psychotherapy can help you to
apses your life situation and get it in sync with
your goals.
What
can I expect from psychotherapy?
First,
you have a right to expect honesty, confidentiality,
and emotional support from a therapist. You will
probably feel relief from unburdening yourself to
someone who will really listen. Your feelings are
validated and you receive reassurance that your
feelings are okay. You also get a sense of your
options. You find you do have choices, that you
are not trapped as you may have thought–even
if your only choices relate to how you perceive
your situation and how you will respond to it. This
sense of choice can be freeing and empowering.
Another objective of therapy is greater self-responsibility.
Part of the process may be painful as you are asked
to look at your own part in your problems. This
may be uncomfortable at first, but the rewards are
great.
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What
can I get out of a successful therapy?
Your
life will have more meaning, your self esteem
will be restored and you will feel like a more
effective human being. Just as in life, if happiness
is a major goal, it will probably be achieved.
But if other worthwhile goals are achieved, happiness
will follow.
The
12 signs of depression
1.
Loss of appetite
2. Depressed affect
3. Psychomotor agitation or retardation
4. Sleeplessness or hypersomnia
5. Lack of energy
6. Poor concentration and indecisiveness
7. Social withdrawal
8. Feelings of hopeless ness, worthlessness
or inappropriate guilt
9. Low self esteem
10. Unresolved grief issues
11. Mood-related hallucinations or delusions
12. History of chronic or recurrent depression
How
can I tell if I have low self esteem?
1. Excessive fear of
failure:avoid all risk of failure or if your attempts
at avoidance fail-you are devastated when it occurs.
2. Perfectionism: measuring your performance
against some extreme standard that is impossible
to achieve
3. Lack of assertion: reluctance to say what
you want.
4. Disavowing achievements: afraid to take
pride your achievements
5. Thinking only others have what it takes:
assume that you are successful because you are privy
to some secret others don't have access to.
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How
can I deal effectively with feelings of anger?
1. Recognize your anger.
Anger is often expressed in such disguised forms
as feeling disappointed, frustrated, let down, harassed,
without belittling or attacking the other person.
Fed up or annoyed.
2. Rate the importance of your anger. This
may sometimes necessitate stepping back to determine
whether the provocation was really directed at you.
Delay and reflection will almost always lead to
less of a personal assault and will give you a chance
to express your feelings without belittling or attacking
the other person.
3. Take personal responsibility for your
angry feelings rather than attack the integrity
or character of the other person.
4. When expressing angry feelings, be specific;
stick to the point and keep things in the present.
1. to
communicate feelings of hurt
2. to change a hurtful situation
3. to prevent recurrence of the same hurt
4. to improve the relationship and increase
communications.
What
are some examples of destructive anger?
1. Passive anger-Some
don't admit anger. They act like martyrs, breeding
guilt in those around them.
2. Aggressive anger-can be physical-hitting, slamming
doors or verbal-yelling, name calling, being sarcastic.
3. Passive aggressive anger- looks passive
on the surface but is fact aggressive. Expressed
in hidden ways like chronic lateness, overspending,
unsafe driving. This type of anger causes hurt and
humiliation.
What
is assertive anger?
You
state clearly and firmly what is upsetting you without
attacking the other person. It sets limits and expresses
needs using "I" rather than "you"
statements. Through anger you can touch each other
and can be touched, bridging the solitudes of two
unique people with healing love.
How
can I tell if I'm co-dependent?
Co-dependency can
be defined as a specific condition that is characterized
by preoccupation and extreme dependence (emotionally,
socially and sometimes physically) on a person or
object. Eventually this dependence on another person
becomes a pathological condition that affects the
co-dependent in all relationships. co-dependence
hinders marriages, friendships and healthy family
functioning.
How does co-dependency
develop?
It usually develops
from living in a dysfunctional, less-than-nurturing
or abusive family.
What kind of
difficulties do co-dependents have?
1. Experiencing
appropriate levels of self-esteem.
2. Setting functional boundaries
3. Owning and expressing their own reality
4. Taking care of their adult needs and wants.
How does recovery
from co-dependence begin?
It begins with
becoming conscious of what you are doing. Your
focus has to be redirected onto yourself. Learning
to live with yourself in mind is the first step
towards increasing your self esteem. Honoring
and valuing yourself means accepting yourself
as you are in reality.
